Current Events

It all looked too familiar. Who knew MikWright had their spin on current events long before they happened in 2011.

Sorry, but we just couldn't resist....

Have a Greener New Year!

We recently read yet another article telling us that Plastic Water Bottles are everywhere. That quick, convenient water source as become a landfill nightmare.

CNN reported in April, 2008:

In the U.S., the world's biggest consumer market for bottled water, sales hit a record 8.82 billion gallons in 2007, a 9.5 percent increase from 2005. Sales of bottled water in the U.S. have now overtaken sales of milk and are close to outselling beer.

Think about that for a minute. The sale of bottled water has now overtaken the sale of milk and BEER? Oh, the HUMANITY!

Plenty of companies have started selling stylish, reusable water containers that save money in the short and long run. You can easily clean them, and take water right from the fridge or tap.

Stylish is one thing, but Stylish and funny is even better. Olive Sandwiches has this funny line of Stainless Steel water bottles that will make you smile while you're making your Green Statement.

What's not to like with sayings like this:

• Do not disturb! I'm disturbed enough as it is!


• Actually yes, the world does revolve around me!


• Bitch? Moi?


• How much fun can I have before I go to hell?


• TGIF- Thank God I'm Fabulous!


• Gardening, Yoga, Bubble Baths, Medication...And I still want to smack somebody!

So have a Greener New Year and hop on the bandwagon and get yours today!

The Peach Tart Blog

Found a great blog today thanks to a customer of ours. Ms. Peach did a write up about Anne Taintor Flasks and directed her readers our way. Thanks again Ms. Peach!

Anne Taintor Flasks post

Check out The Peach Tart Blog when you get a chance. It is a lot of fun

What You Eat Standing Up Doesn't Count - Beth Barnes

A sweet lady just called with a wonderful story about the "What You Eat Standing Up Doesn't Count" napkins. She told me that her niece just bought some of the napkins for her as a gift. When she received them she was so excited. Why, you might ask? Because she is THE Beth Barnes who originally said "What You Eat Standing Up Doesn't Count".

Beth went on to say that about 25 years ago she threw a wonderful large party at her home. She looked around the room and no one was eating all her wonderful food that she worked so hard to prepare. So she announced to the crowd, "Everyone, What You Eat Standing up Doesn't Count! So eat!" She was trying her best to encourage everyone to eat. She said that she just thought of it off the cuff. How clever she is!

It turns out that one of the guests at the party was a woman who had a daughter who wrote anthologies. The daughter wrote an anthology on food and Beth's comment was included in the book. Luckily she was given credit for her clever line. And since that book came out, Beth's clever words have been on cards and other items. She was so excited that her words were also included on cocktail napkins.

I was so excited to hear the story. Beth Barnes made my day.
She went on to say, "It's my only claim to fame".
To which I replied, "I think that is a pretty big claim to fame!"

Thanks Beth for sharing that story. I enjoyed it very much.

And yes, I'll work on a nice discount for you. It is the least I can do!

Shannon Martin - Girl Designer NEW Cocktail/Beverage Napkins

Your next party needs a touch of retro, witty, fun, funky & whimsy. Look at these great Shannon Martin Cocktail Beverage napkins. Shannon combines old images with witty, pithy captions to create napkins with a retro feel, and sharp wit.

Captions for these funny napkins include:

• Be yourself. Everyone else is taken-Oscar Wilde
• Bottoms Up!
• Dinner is poured
• Let's get you out of those wet clothes and into a Dry Martini
• Honey, when I told you to bring over a hot dish, I wasn't talking about a Green Bean Casserole
• Setting a good example for your children, takes all the fun out of Middle Age-William Feather
• If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun -Katharine Hepburn
• If you pour it, they will come.
• If you haven't got anything nice to say about someone, come sit by me -Alice Roosevelt Longworth
• Hear no evil, speak no evil and you'll never be invited to a party-Oscar Wilde
• The menu tonight consists of 2 choices: Take it or Leave It.
• The trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun.
• Wine is proof God Loves us and wants us to be happy - Benjamin Franklin
• Why Limit Happy to an Hour
  

Shannon Martin is a seasoned graphic designer, entertaining writer and lifetime prankster who was born to create funny, funky, witty and retro cocktail/beverage napkins. Shannon loves what she does and hopes you do, too.

Shannon attributes any artistic tendencies to her mother, who used to paint faces on the fruit she put in her children's lunches. She has a background in art and design and draws inspiration from Joseph Cornell, Anne Lamott and her hero, Pippi Longstocking.

Be sure to check out all the styles available. They will add witty banter to any cocktail party.

Inviting Company has a CUTE new line of Cocktail Napkins

Inviting Company has a great new line of Funny, Witty, Humorous Cocktail/Beverage Napkins. We liked them so much we decided to carry almost everyone of them! Take a look at them, they really cracked us up. They are selling well, so get them before they're gone!

Shortened Versions of the Captions include:

• Loved and Lost
• Apologize
• Cinderella
• Sorry you Missed It
• Clear Conscience
• Don't Talk
• Lemons
• Let's Party
• Life's Too Short
• Miss You
• Mornings
• My Family
• Networking
• Nice Tiara
• Other Fish
• Prince Charming
• Princess
• Repeat Gossip
• Stressed
• Sunshine
• Thinkin' Chocolate
• Wine Improves

An Important PSA on a Women's Health Issue We Wanted to Share

Important Women's Health Issue:

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
Erotic lustfulness
Loss of motor control
Loss of clothing
Loss of money
Table dancing
Headache
Dehydration
Dry mouth
And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting

Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.

This Important Message was brought to you by your friends at YouNeedADrink.com.

The Easter Kitty Came!

Thank you Easter Bunny! Bbbaaaccckkk....Bbbaaacccckkk!
Wonder who will remember that one?

Even more Funny Napkins and Mugs from Anne Taintor!

NEW Napkins from Anne Taintor

Anne Taintor is still producing these smart, funny, witty and oh so retro napkins and mugs. They are a great addition to any party or just for fun around the kitchen.
The NEW napkins are in stock and the NEW mugs will be here soon. This year's new styles for the napkins and Mugs are:

Anne Taintor: Why do dishes when you can do daiquiris?
Anne Taintor: Whatever had she done, and with whom?
Anne Taintor: She could never remember which was better....safe?...or sorry?
Anne Taintor: She was just a cocktail away from proving his mother right.

MikWright Holiday Cocktail Drink Coasters

You have to buy your friends some of these MikWright Holiday Coasters. You can buy them individually for $3.50 each or buy the whole set and you get one free.
These are better than a Christmas Card...washable, reusable and cheaper than a greeting card. As a bonus, THEY ARE STINKIN' FUNNY!

Bad Cat Napkins....Hilarious!

Bad Cat Napkins...MEOW!!

From the author Jim Edgar :

EXPOSED!

It's the dark side that most cat owners never see. The side that wouldn't be caught dead purring. Here, captured in all their infamy, are hundreds of trouble-makers, delinquents and dementos. They're bad cats, with bad intentions, bad habits and bad attitude. So the next time your sweet little ball of fur misses the litterbox, ask yourself...was it really an accident?

These funny cocktail napkins from Jim Edgar are a great compliment to the NY Time Bestselling book series.

Meet the crew:

Funny and Cool Mugs...Everyone needs one!

For the sake of filling up this blog entry with information regarding gifts and giftware, we thought it was important to point out just how much a funny, hip, funky, cool coffee mug (or tea mug if you prefer) is cherished by your friends and family. There is nothing like having your morning Joe in your favorite mug. So why not give the funny gift that keeps on giving...every day. So here is what we have....funny gifts, funny giftware, funky gifts, funky giftware, cool gift items, groovy and hip gifts that are cheap, inexpensive yet oh so chic and did we say funky?

YouNeedADrink.com has a great line of funny, cool, funky and hip coffee cups, tea cups by artists and companies like Lolly Lu, Mr. Tony, MikWright, Murray's Law, Mod Broads, Bad Girl Art, Mary Phillips, Anne Taintor, Ephemera, Mina Lee, Emerson, Design Design, Olive Sandwiches mugs and more.

Lolita has new mugs too. Lolita Hand painted coffee glasses (or mugs which ever you prefer) add some style to your morning. Tracy Lolita Yancey is the artist.

A funny, funky, hip and cool coffee mug or tea cup brings humor to your morning. A laugh and a smile will make your coffee and tea never tasted so good!

Funny Family Cocktail Story..

Legend has it that our Grandparents on our Mother's side loved to drink and entertain their friends and family. They were "partiers" before the word "party" was a verb.

Our people come from a small town in Texas named Mart. Not far from Waco and Austin this little community was quite the agricultural town. Farmers and Ranchers (part-time and full-time) like to have a good time.

Well, once upon a time, our mother heard singing out on the farm. Not the normal "whistle while you work" singing that can be heard from the kitchen. No, this was the top of your lungs, off key singing that only rings true from the great outdoors in the summer air. She was a teenager at the time so curiosity got the better of her.

Mom strolled outside to find the mysterious melody. She looked everywhere around the house and found nothing. The singing seemed to go away by the time she reached the driveway. So she turned to head back to the house. But wait....there it is again. She turned on her heals and headed for the back of the house. But she still didn't see what her ears were hearing.

As she got closer to the back field, she noticed the large tree that normally provided the small amount of shade for a good part of the lot. She knew she must be getting closer, because the singing got louder. But there wasn't a soul near the tree, let alone anyone, or anything that could sing.

Finally she arrived at the big tree. Standing under the tree's canopy, she heard the singing again. She looked up into the tree to find her mother and her mother's sister sitting up in the tree singing their lungs out. What could cause two full grown women to climb a tree and entertain themselves in this way?

AHHH....BEHOLD, THE POWER OF COCKTAILS!!

The YouNeedADrink.com Mug Club...

We think YouNeedADrink.com needs a Mug Club. So, what the heck, let's do it. Now do we need a meeting place, a special grind, a good book....what is it we need to start this? Oh yes...a funny mug. Every member must start with a funny mug. Then we can exchange funny mugs. Maybe after purchasing so many mugs you get a prize or something. Ok...we haven't worked out all the details. We'll get back to you on that.

Anyway, a Mug Club...like the sound of that.

Christmas Time for the Jews.....

It is still Chanukah, so here is a little something that makes us smile....



When everyone closes down the shops and stays home for Christmas, the Jews own the town. A Phil Spector Tribute...From Saturday TV Funhouse on SNL.
A Robert Smigel cartoon. Sung by Darlene Love.

Tags: Hanukkah , Robert Smigel , TV Funhouse , Xmas , Saturday Night Live , Cults and Religions , Television , Video Clips

LYRICS:

On Christmas Eve, The Gentiles gather Around the Christmas Tree.
They stay at home, and party with Their Goyishe family.

They disappear one day each yearAnd pass the egg nog 'round.
But it's all right because that's the night the Jews control the town.

Well, this happens every year on Christmas Eve,
All the happy Christian people take their leave.

Yeah, the streets are deserted and that's big news,
It's Christmas Time for the Jews.

The holiday party starts about 6pm,
Ain't nobody recreating Bethlehem.

Yeah the Three Wise Men, that's a big old snooze,
It's Christmas Time for the Jews.

They can finally see King Kong without waiting in line,
They can eat in Chinatown and drink their sweet ass wine.

They can crank Barbra Streisand on the streets they cruise,
It's Christmas Time for the Jews.

They can gang up on the Quakers,
Play for the Lakers,
They can do what they wanna,
Even blow off Madonna.

Get a chance to drive a tractor,
Win on Fear Factor,
See Fiddler On The Roof with actual Jewish actors.

Now, they really get the party goin' after dark,
Circumcizing grateful squirrels in the city park.

Picking fights in the bar knowing they can't lose,
It's Christmas Time for the Jews.

Now it's nearly 10:30Yes, it's time for bed,
Daily Show re-runs dancin' in their heads.

Maybe next year they'll learn how to hold their booze,
It's Christmas Time for the Jews.

More Chanukah...I promise I will do Christmas next..

Ok...since no one is really reading this blog now anyway, we thought we would continue the Chanukah (Hanukkah, Hanukah..) entry from last night. Here are the lyrics to the different versions. Forgive the missing punctuation and mis-spellings...I'm tired and too lazy to change every word.

Not sure why we think this is important, but everytime we hear the song, it makes us smile. So, smiling is good....

Version 1--The Original by Adam Sandler

Intro: this is a song, that uh, theres alot of xmas songs out there, but not too many about Hanukkah, so I wrote a song for all those nice little jewishKids who dont get to hear any Hanukkah songs--here we go...

Put on your yalmulka, here comes Hanukkah

It's so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah,

Hanukkah is the festival of lights,

Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

When you feel like the only kid in town without a x-mas tree,

here's a list of People who are jewish, just like you and me:

David Lee Roth lights the menorrah,

So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah.

Guess who eats together at the Charnegie deli,

Bowzer from sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzerrelli.

Paul Newman's half jewish; Goldie Hawn's half too,

Put them together--what a fine lookin jew!

You don't need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock

Cause you can spin the dreidl with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both jewish!

Put on your yalmulka, its time for Hanukkah,

The owner of the Seattle Super Sonic-ahs celebrates hanukkah.

O.j. simpson-- not a jew!

But guess who is...hall of famer Rod Carew--(he converted!)

We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby,

Harrison Ford's a quarter jewish--not too shabby!

Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,

Well, he's not, but guess who is: all three stooges.

So many jews are in show biz--Tom Cruise isn't, [tacit] but I heard his agent is.

Tell your friend Veronica, it's time you celebrate Hanukkah.

I hope I get a harmonica,

on this lovely, lovely hanukkah.

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah,

If you really, really wanna-kah, have a happy, happy, happy, happyHanukkah.

Happy Hanukka!

Version II

Title:Adam Sandler - Chanukah Song Part II

This is lyrics from http://www.lyrics007.com/

Put on your Yamaka

Its time for Chanukah.

So much funnaka,

To celebrate Chanukah.

Chanukah is the festival of lights,

Instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights.

When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,

Here's a new list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me.

Winona Ryder drinks Manischewitz wine,

Then spins a Dreidle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein.

Guess who gives and receives loads of Chanukah toys?

The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys.

Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish, Courtney Love is half too

Put them together what a funky, bad ass Jew.

We got Harvey Keitel and flash dancer Jennifer Beals,

Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish and yes her boobs are real.

Put on that yarmulka, It's time for Chanukah.

2 time Ocsar winning Dustin Hoffman celebrates Chanukah

O.J. Simpson still not a Jew but guess who is?

The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo.

Bob Dylan was born a Jew, then he wasn't but now he's back,

Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish 'cause we're pretty good in the sack.

Guess who got bar-mitzvahed on the PGA tour,

No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods, I'm talkin' about Mr. Happy Gilmore.

So many Jews are in the show biz,

Bruce Springsteen isn't Jewish but my mother thinks he is.

Tell the world-amanaka, it's time to celebrate Chanukah.

It's not pronounced Ch-nakah, the C is silent in Chanukah,

So read your hooked on phonica, get drunk in Tijuanaka

If you really really wannaka,

Have a happy happy happy happy Chanukah!

Version III

Tile :Adam Sandler - Chanukah Song (III)

This is lyrics from http://www.lyrics007.com/

Put on your yamulke,

It's time for Chanukah (sounds good guys)

Once again it's Onakah,

The miracle of Chanukah. (give it up for the Drei Dels)

Chanukah is the festival of lights.

One day of presents? Hell no, We get eight crazy nights.

But if you still feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,

I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you, so here comes number three!

Ross and Phoebe from "Friends" say the Chanukah blessing.

So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and "Will & Grace"'s Debra Messing.

Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mixed meat with dairy.

Maybe they should have called that show "Little Kosher House on the Prairie."

We got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller and Jack Black.

Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back!(Just kidding Tommy!)

We may not get to kiss underneath the mistletoe,

But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigalow! (I'm jewish!)

Oh My God! Sweet Robbie Schneider is here!

Put on the yamukah, here comes Chanukah.

The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica Celebrates Chanukah.

Schneider: Oooo, good job!

Osama bin Laden--(Booo!)--not a big fan of the Jews.

Well, maybe that's because he lost a figure skating match to gold medalist Sarah Hughes,

her mama's Jewish!

Houdini and David Blaine escaped straightjackets with such precision.

But the one thing they could not get out of their painful circumcision.

As for Half-Jewish actors, Sean Penn is quite the great one,

And Marlon Brando not a Jew at all ,But it looks to me like he ate one.

There's Lou Reed, Perry Ferrell, Beck and Paula Abdul.

Joey Ramone invented punk rock music but first came Hebrew school.

Natalie Portmanukah,

It's time to celebrate Chanukah.

I hope I get an Abrtronicah,

on this joyful, toyful Chanukah.

So get a high colonicah,

And soil your long johnukahs.

If you really really wantukah,

Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy Happy Chan-u-kah!

The Chanukah Song Pt. 3 Lyrics by Adam Sandler

(Although some new lyrics were added)

Chanukah is the festival of lights.

One day of presents? Hell no, we get the eight crazy nights!

But if you still feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,

I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you, so here comes number three!

Ross and Phoebe from Friends say the Chanukah blessing,

So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and Will and Grace's Debra Messing!

Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mixed meat with dairy,

Maybe they should have called that show Little Kosher House on the Prairie!

We got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller, and Jack Black,

Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back!(Just kidding, Tommy!.)

We may not get to kiss underneath the mistletoe,

But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigalow!

Rob Schneider: I'm Jewish!?!?!

Drei-Dels: Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah...

Rob Schneider: The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica celebrates Chanukah!

Adam Sandler: Tiny Elvis everybody. Tiny Elvis.

Schneider, I didn't even know you were jewish.

Rob Schneider: I'm a philipino jew. In fact, i'm going home right now to light the first pig.

Adam sandler: okay, get going.

Osama bin Laden...The Drie-dels: BOO!

Not a big fan of the Jews!

Well maybe that's because he lost the figure skating match to gold medalist Sarah Hughes!

(Her mama's Jewish.)

Houdini and David Blaine escape straightjackets with such precision,

but one thing they could not get out of...Their painful circumcision!

Gwyneth Paltrow's half-Jewish, but a full-time Oscar winner,

Jennifer Connelly's half-Jewish too, And I'd like to put more in her!

Whoo!

There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrell, Beck, and Paula Abdul,

Joey Ramone invented punk rock music, but first came Hebrew school!

Hey!Natalie Portmanika,

It's time to celebrate Chanukah!

I hope I get an Abtronica,

On this joyful, joyful Chanukah.

So get a high colonika,

And soil your long-johnnakahs,

If you really, really wannakah,

Have a happy, happy, happy, happy,happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah!"

Now we have collected all the versions (that we could find anyway) in one place. This will help since every year we like to sing the song with our sweet Jewish friends and family....Now on to find "Christmas-time for the Jews"...